There comes a time when you will have to plan a Parade…
Within our society there are certain events that mark and define you as a person. Learning how to drive, your first kiss, Bar Mitzvah, prom, going to college, learning how to shot a gun, and planning a parade.
So when it comes time for you to plan and execute planning a parade, you need to decide on a few things.
1) How awesome do you want to be…?
That is really all you have to decide. So in order to be awesome - you must follow a strict diet leading up to your big day. If you stick to it, it may actually help you from slapping someone’s teeth out.
Awesome Parade Diet:
- Start each morning with a bowl of oatmeal, eat while driving into work. (This helps with digestion).
- Eat weird melted chocolate that is left over from a Job Fair any chance you get.
- If you see a plate of cookies steal two. Stay away from sugar cookies.
- Start drinking Dr. Pepper like water. Or Add it to your water - as a healthy alternative.
- Don’t worry about eating dinner anymore, just have a weird salad for lunch. And pray for french fries.
- Buy a dozen Dunkin’ donuts “for someone’s birthday” eat at least four of them. ( Wash down with a Dr. Pepper - remember think healthy!)
- Get McDonald’s on the way home: Spicy Chicken Sandwich, Medium Dr. Pepper, and medium Strawberry Shake.
- Once you get home - throw up!
Do this for about a week and your Parade should be Gold!
*Granted if may want to pace yourself, I recommend Oatmeal every other morning.
If you are able to hold to this strict and rigorous diet, reward yourself with cotton candy the day of your event…
- mjthedestroyer posted this