Rock ‘em Sock ‘em…
One of my employees put in her two weeks, today was her last day. I am not heart broken about loosing this employee- despite all the good she thought she did. She is actually one of the most destructive people I think I have ever met. Imagine if Skeletor and Strawberry Shortcake ( The old school Shortcake with the curly hair) had a bipolar hippie child that lived off of nothing but soup and protein drinks. You would have my employee… No stop- sit there and drink this in…
A middle age woman who has all the wonderful characteristics of cute lovable shortcake but is forever damaged by whatever her evil Skeletor father did to cause her to have an eating disorder - leaving her only able to crave Lipton soup packets and chocolate powder protein…. Thus a tall freakishly skeletor skinny woman with borderline lesbian haircut who is bat shit crazy… oh and she really likes to wear Tom’s shoes. ( I don’t know why that is important, but it is). Oh and she is super into God, like even more so than born again christian who like to tell anyone they meet that Jesus loves them, and yet never attends church.
She is gone, and now I get to start picking up the pieces…
I will give her this, she taught me something. She taught me that pays off to be a real,down to earth, nice person. I like to think of myself as such, from time to time at least. Being nice takes work…
So I have decided to make a little check list… if you find yourself doing five or more things off this list… you may want to seek help from a doctor or life coach. If you find yourself doing ten or more of these things, maybe it is time that you start a hippie commune and create your own religion…. Good Luck!
Are you a Real Person, True or False?- Check List:
- You find it hard to make eye contact when other talk to you
- You only smile if you are being sarcastic
- You think that everyone around you is slow minded and beneath you
- You accuse accuse only the Mexican house keepers of stealing your water bottle, and report them to their boss - when you actually forgot your water bottle at home
- You offer black licorice to everyone in the office despite the fact they refuse it every time, and tell you that dislike it every time.
- You hum loudly during staff meetings ( while you boss is talking)
- You get upset if you desk chair is moved or if anyone sits in it
- You clean out the office microwave at least three times a day
- You judge others for eating cupcakes
- You claim to be a perfect driver, perfect!
- You find that anyone that wears make up or dresses in non organic clothing is a sinner
- You eat soup for at least two meals a day (same flavor - never changes)
- You own multiple Tom’s shoes and feel that they are appropriate for every occasion (*Special Note: Tom’s are cool - just not with wool socks…and not when you are approaching being crazy old and are pure evil).
- You sleep with the CEO, and can’t deal when he breaks up with you cause your lady part will kill him dead ( cause you are pure evil)
- You don’t believe in wishing people Happy Birthday
- You think being nice to coworkers makes it impossible to be professional
- You begin to yell at your computer when people accept your Outlook calendar invite and they send you the reply/ notice saying they have accepted
- You find fault in others, but never yourself…
- You also support the Army - A LOT, more than the Army supports the Army
Well how did you do? Are you a little more down to Earth than you thought? All of what was listed is true by the way… I know it seems impossible, but it make you wonder… How did Skeletor and Strawberry Shortcake meet? Blind date, mutual friend, internet dating service, AA meeting held at a Southern Bible Church,or at a shoe store and they both reached for a pair of Tom’s? Maybe it was in the grocery store picking out the same chocolate dirt protein powder? Or did little Miss Shortcake want to make Huckleberry jealous and go to a Frat party with Blueberry and get rufied by Skeletor…